编者按：LessonFive:Intros&ConclusionsSurprisedtoseeintroductionsasthetopicofoursecond-to-lastlesson?Mostwritersfind...Lesson...
编者按：LessonFive:Intros&ConclusionsSurprisedtoseeintroductionsasthetopicofoursecond-to-lastlesson?Mostwritersfind...
LessonFive:Intros&Conclusions
Surprisedtoseeintroductionsasthetopicofoursecond-to-lastlesson?Mostwritersfindthatitisnearlyi
mpossibletocraftanessaybybeginningwiththeintroduction.Thebestleadsoftendevelopduringandafterwritershavewrittentheremainderoftheessay.
Maybeafantasticintroductionorconclusioniscaughtfloatingaroundinthemiddleofyourroughdraft.Maybeyoufindthatyouressaydoesnotevenneedanintroductionorconclusion.Morelikely,however,itisintheselaterstagesthatyouhaveagoodsenseofthewayyouressayisshapingup,allthewaytothenitty-grittydetails.Sincebeginningsandendingscanbethemostchallengingandimportantpartofanypieceofwriting,youwillwanttotakeadvantageofacompletedroughdraft.
Partofthereasonwhyintroductionsandconclusionsaresodifficultisthatwriterstendtoworryaboutthemtoomuch.Writingteachersgivesomuchattentiontotheneedforathoroughintroductionandasharplydrawnconclusionthatanxiousessayistscompensatebygoingoverboard.Theyfeelthatinordertoappearmatureandworldly,theiressaysmustcontainprofoundinsightsandsweepingobservations.
Whileyourintroductionandconclusionneednotprovidetheanswerstoeveryworldlyproblem,theydoneedtobeengaging.Admissionsofficersmayspendjustafewminutesreadingyouressay.Yourintroductionmustgrabtheirinterestfromthebeginningandyourconclusionmustmakealastingimpression.
Introductions
Theintroductionisthefirstsentenceofyouressayanditplaysthedualroleofsettingthethemeofyouressayandengagingthereader.Theintroductionshouldnotbeoverlyformal.Youdonotwantanadmissionsofficertostartreadingyouressayandthink,herewegoagain.?Althoughadmissionsofficerswilltrytogivetheentireessayafairreading,theyareonlyhuman--ifyoulosethemafterthefirstsentence,therestofyouressaywillnotgettheattentionitdeserves.
GeneralTips
Don'tSayTooMuch.Justtellthestory!Yourintroductionshouldnotbesocomplexandsolengthythatitlosesthereaderbeforetheyevenstart.Youhavetherestoftheessaytosaywhatyouwant.There'snoneedtopackitallintothefirstsentence.Thisleadstothenexttips.
Don'tStartYourEssaywithaSummary.Ifyousummarize,theadmissionsofficerdoesnotneedtoreadtherestofyouressay.Youwanttostartyouressaywithsomethingthatmakesthereaderwanttoreaduntiltheveryend.Onceyouhavedrawnthereaderinthroughthefirstonetothreesentences,thelastsentenceinyourintroductoryparagraphshouldexplainclearlyandbrieflywhatthepointofthewholeessayis.Thatis,whyyouareusingthisperson,place,orthing.Whatdoesitsayaboutyou?
CreateMysteryorIntrigueinyourIntroduction.Itisnotnecessaryorrecommendedthatyourfirstsentencegiveawaythesubjectmatter.Raisequestionsinthemindsoftheadmissionsofficerstoforcethemtoreadon.Appealtotheirsensesandemotionstomakethemrelatetoyoursubjectmatter.
TypesofIntroductions
Pleaseselectalinkbelowforexamplesanddescriptionsofvariousintroductions.
AcademicIntroduction
CreativeIntroduction
ActionIntroduction
DialogueIntroduction
OverarchingSocietalStatements
PersonalIntroduction
QuestionIntroduction
QuotationIntroduction
AcademicIntroduction:Thisisthetypeofintroductionyouwoulduseforastandardizedtestorahistorypaper.Atypicalstandardintroductionanswersoneormoreofthesixbasicquestions:who,what,when,where,why,andhow.Itgivesthereaderanideaofwhattoexpect.Youshouldtrytostayawayfromsimplyrestatingthequestionunlessyouarelimitedbyawordcountandneedtogettothepointquickly.Yourbasicacademicintroductionorthesisstatementisbestusedasthefollow-upsentencetooneofthemorecreativeintroductionsdescribedbelow.
Examples:
OneofthegreatestchallengesI'vehadtoovercomewasmovingfromIrantotheUnitedStates.IranwasindeeppoliticalturmoilwhenIleft,asitistoday.
Thisintroductionisclearandtothepoint,andwillprepareyourreaderfortheideasyouwanttodiscuss.However,itisratherunexcitingandwillnotimmediatelyengageyourreader.Asmentioned,youshouldtrytoprefaceitwithamorecreativestatement.Inaddition,itmakesonetypicalerror.Oneshouldusuallyavoidusingcontractionsinaformalessay,forexample,
Throughallofmyaccomplishmentsanddisappointments,IhavealwaysbeenespeciallyproudofthededicationandfervorIpossessformypersonalbeliefsandvalues.
Thisisaveryeffectiveintroductiontoanessayaboutyourpersonality.Mentioningprideisagoodwaytoindicatehowimportantyourbeliefsandvaluesaretoyou.Inasentencelikethis,however,itwouldbebettertouse"throughout"ratherthan"through"."throughout"betterexpressesthewidespread,expansivetoneyouwanttogivethissentence.
CreativeIntroduction:Acreativeintroductioncatchesthereaderoff-guardwithanopeningstatementthatleavesthereadersmilingorwonderingwhattherestoftheessaycontains.
Examples:
Imagineyourselfafreshmaninhighschool,beginningyourindependence.Astheoldestchild,Iwasthefirsttobeginexploringtheworldsofdating,extra-curricularclubsandupperclassmen.However,oneafternoonmyparentssatmytwosistersandmedown.Theysaid?/i>
Thepowerofthisintroductionisthatitplacesthereaderinyourshoes,makinghimorhermoreinterestedinwhattakesplaceintherestoftheessay.Itsmainmistakeisthatitsinformalitygivestheessayaslightlyhokeyorcornytone.Althoughagreaterdegreeofinformalityisallowedinacreativeessay,youmustbecarefulnottotakeittoofar.
Iamadynamicfigure,oftenseenscalingwallsandcrushingice.Ihavebeenknowntoremodeltrainstationsonmylunchbreaks,makingthemmoreefficientintheareaofheatretention.ItranslateethnicslursforCubanrefugees,Iwriteaward-winningoperas,Imanagetimeefficiently.Occasionally,Itreadwaterforthreedaysinarow.
Thisintroductionisbothcreativeandeffective.Itamusesthereaderbylistingabizarreandprobablyfictitioussetofachievements,thusdemonstratingthewriter'simagination(andpokingfunattheadmissionsprocess).Atthesametime,itslighttoneavoidssoundingtooobnoxious.Asanote,youshouldrememberthatgooduseofsemicolonswillimpressyourreader:"ItranslateethnicslursforCubanrefugees;Iwriteaward-winningoperas;Imanagetimeefficiently.
ActionIntroduction:AnActionIntroductiontakesthereaderintothemiddleofanactionsequence.Bynotbuildinguptothestory,itforcesthereadertoreadontofindoutnotonlythesignificanceofthismomentintime,butwhatleduptoandfollowedit.Itisperfectforshortessayswherespacemustbeconservedorfornarrativeessaysthatbeginwithastory.
Examples:
IpromisedGodIwouldeatallmypeas,butHedidn'tcare.Aconfusedeleven-year-oldgirl,Isatandlistenedtomyfatherpace.Witheachheavystepechoingloudlythroughoutthesilenthouse,myfamily'sanxietyandanticipationmountedwhileawaitingnewsofmygrandfather'shealth.Myheartracing,Iwatchedtheclock,amazedthattimecouldcrawlsoslowly.Finally,thetelephoneinterruptedthehouse'ssolemnsilence.Iheardmyfatherrepeatingthewords"yes,yes,ofcourse."Hethenhungupthereceiverandannouncedmygrandfather'sdeathandcancer'svictory.
Thisisthekindofintroductionthatwillimmediatelyintrigueyourreaderbecauseitbeginswithaveryunusualdeclaration.TheimageofalittlegirleatingpeasandhopingtoacquireGod'shelpischarmingwhilehintingatthesolemnityofthesituationdescribed.
Surroundedbythousandsofstars,completesilence,andspectacularmountains,IstoodatopNewHampshire'sPresidentialRange,awestruckbynature'sbeauty.Immediately,IrealizedthatImustdedicatemylifetounderstandingthecausesoftheuniverse'sbeauty.
Thefirsttenwordsofthisessaywillcatchyourreader'sattention,mainlybecausetheycreateamentalimageofperfectnaturalbeauty.Notethatyoushouldtrytoavoidrepeatingkeywords.Inthisinstance,itwouldbeeasytoavoidrepeatingtheword'sbeauty.?Youcouldsimplyuse"magnificenc"?or"loveliness?instead.
DialogueIntroduction:Liketheactionintroduction,thedialogueintroductionbringsthereaderdirectlyintotheaction,onlythistimeintheformofdialogue.Ifyouarewritingaboutaninfluentialfigureinyourlife,youcanmentionaquotefromthispersonthatexemplifiestheimportancethatheorshehadonyourlife.
Examples:
"YoumuststopseeingthatRussiangirl,"IorderedmybrotherwhenhereturnedhomelastsummerfromtheUniversityofIndianapolis.Echoingtheprejudiced,ignorantsentimentthatIhadgrownupwith,IbelieveditwaswrongtobecomeseriouslyinvolvedwithapersonwhodoesnotfollowtheHindureligionandisnotamemberoftheIndianrace.
Multiculturalawarenessisakeyaspectoffittinginwellatauniversity,andadmissionsofficersareveryawareofthis.Thus,itisanexcellentideatomentionhowyouexpandedyourculturalsensitivity.Beginningtheessaybyadmittingthatyouwereoncelesstolerantisacompellingwaytodemonstratejusthowmuchyouhavegrownasaperson.
Onthevergeoflosingconsciousness,Iaskedmyself:"WhyamIdoingthis?"WhywasIpunishingmybody?Ihadnoanswer;mymindblankedoutfromexhaustionandterror.Ihadnotimetosecond-guessmyselfwithaterrifyingmanleaningovermyshoulderyelling:"Youcanbreaksixminutes!"Asflecksofspitflewfromhismouthandlandedonthehandlebaroftheergometer,IlongedtobefinishedwithmyfirstSaturdayrowingpracticeandmyfirstfifteen-hundred-meter"ergtest."
Thepowerofthisintroductioncomesfromitsattentiontodetail.Thequestion"whyamIdoingthis??gainssupportfromeveryhorribledetail:theexhaustion,theterrifyingman,andthespecksofspitflyingfromhismouth!Withsuchstrongsupportingevidence,thequotationtakesonalifeofitsown.Yourreaderwillfindhimselfthinking,"whywouldanyonedothat?I'dliketofindout.
OverarchingSocietalStatements:Ratherthanusingatraditionalthesisstatementyoucanputforthasocietalobservationthattiesintothethemeofyouressay.Thiscanbeveryeffectiveifthestatementisuniqueandgivesaglimpseintohowyouviewtheworld.Itcanbedetrimentalifyourstatementisdebatableorunclear.Makesurethatifyouusethisformofintroductionthatnoadmissionsofficewilltakeoffensetoit.
Examples:
Highschoolisastrangetime.Afterthreeyearsoftryingtodevelopanidentityandfriendsinmiddleschool,studentsareexpectedtomatureimmediatelyonthefirstdayofninthgrade.
Becarefulnottomakestatementsinyourintroductionthatseemtooexaggeratedorunrealistic.Afterall,nooneexpectsastudenttoimmediatelymatureonthefirstdayofninthgrade.Moreover,ifyourreadersensesthatyouattainedmostofyourmaturityatthebeginningofhighschool,heorshemightbelessthanimpressedwithyourcharacterdevelopment.Itwouldbebettertostate,studentsareexpectedtoenteranewenvironmentinwhichtheymustfunctionwithfargreatermaturity.
Tothisday,theUnitedStatesremainsdrivenbytheAmericanDream,andweoftenhearofimmigrantswhocometothiscountrytosearchforopportunitiesthattheirnativecountrieslack.Inthesetales,immigrantssucceedthroughhardwork,dedication,andalittleluck.Asidealisticasthestorymayseem,Ihavebeenfortunateenoughtoexperienceitsrealityinthelifeofoneveryimportantman.Hisexamplehashadgreatimpactonmypersonalexpectationsandgoals,andthemannerinwhichIapproachmyownlife.
Thisisanexcellentwaytointroduceadiscussionofapersonwhohasinfluencedyousignificantly.Insteadoflaunchingimmediatelyintoalistofthisman'sexcellentqualitiesandadmirableaccomplishments,thisintroductionlaysthefoundationforacomprehensivelookatjustwhythemanhadsuchaprofoundimpactonyou.ItalsoplacesthemostimportanceontheAmericanDream,asisfittinginanessaylikethisone.
Artisareflectionofone'sself-identityinthemostunaffectedmanner.Becauseartisverypersonal,ithasnorightorwrong.Thetypeofartthathasinfluencedmemostismusic.
Thefirsttwosentencesinthisintroductionsetthekindoftoneyouwanttomaintainthroughoutyouressay:introspectiveandcreative.However,itmovesontoaveryboringandstiltedstructureinthethirdsentence.Tokeepthetonecreative,youcouldreplacethatsentencewiththefollowing:"althoughartisticexpressioncantakemanyforms,itismusicthathascaptivatedme.?/font>
PersonalIntroduction:ThePersonalIntroductiontakesthereaderdirectlyintoyourmind.Itsays,"Thisiswhatitisliketobeme.Letmetakeyoutomylittleworld.?Sincethereisalittlevoyeurineventhemoststernadmissionsofficer,thistypeofintroductioncanbeveryeffective.Itisalwaysinthefirstpersonandusuallytakesaninformal,conversationaltone:
Examples:
Attimes,Ithinktheworldaroundmeiscrumblingtotheground,butitneverdoes.Likemostpeople,Ifacethecrunchesofdeadlinesandendlessdemandsonmytime,butIhaveneverencounteredthetypeofadversitythatcancrushpeople,thatcandrivepeoplecrazy,thatcandrivethemtosuicide.
Thisintroductionisindeedcompelling,butitraisesimportantquestionsaboutappropriatecontent.Becarefultoavoidwritingapersonalessaythatisfartoopersonal.Youdonotwantyourreadertothinkthatyoumighthavecharacterweaknessesthatpreventyoufromhandlingstressfulsituationswell.
IchuckletomyselfeverytimeIthinkaboutthis.Iamperceivedasamild-mannered,intelligentindividualuntilImentionthatIaminvolvedinriflery.
Didthefirstsentenceofthisintroductionconfuseyou?Thiswasnodoubtitsintention.Bycreatingalittlemysteryinthefirstsentence,thereaderisforcedtokeepreadingandkeepwondering,"whatisthiskid'ssecret??untilthefinalword,whichpopsinthereader'smind,sortoflikeagunshot:"riflery."
QuestionIntroduction:Manyadmissionsessaysbeginwithaquestion.Whilethisisaneasywaytobeginanessay,admissionsofficersmayperceiveitasa"Lazyintroduction.?Noonewantstoreadanessaythatbeginswithsuchtackymaterialas:"Tobeornottobe"or"Areyoulookingforanapplicantwhohasdriveanddetermination?Well,I'myourguy.?Ifyouaregoingtouseaquestion,makesurethatitisanextremelycompellingoneandthatyourexperiencesprovideanswers.
Example:
Influence?Whyisitthatthepeoplewhoinfluenceusmostinfluenceusinwaysthatarenoteasilyquantified?Throughherworkwithabusedchildren,mymotherhasshownmetheheroismofselflessdedicationtoaworthycause.
Withoneword,thisintroductiontakesanessayquestionaboutthepersonwhohasmostinfluencedyouandturnsitbackaroundtotheadmissionsboard.Ineffect,youaretellingthemthatyouhavethoughtabouttheirquestionthoroughly.Youhavethoughtaboutitforsolongthatyouhaveacoupleofquestionsofyourown-questionsthathavesparkedaninterestingcommentary.
QuotationIntroduction:Manywritersaretemptedtostarttheiressaywithaquote.Youshouldtrytoresistthistemptation,asmostquoteswilllookforced.Admissionsofficerswillbeturnedoffifitisapparentthatyousearchedthroughabookoffamousquotesandcameupwithaquotefromsomefamousphilosopheraboutwhomyouknownothing.Thequotationintroductionismosteffectivewhenthequoteyouchooseisunusual,funny,orobscure,nottoolong,andfromthosetowhomyouareclosest.Chooseaquotewithameaningyouplantorevealtothereaderastheessayprogresses.Theadmissionscommitteeisinterestedinhowyourespondtothequoteandwhatthatresponsesaysaboutyou.
Examples:
JohnF.Kennedysaid,"Asknotwhatyourcountrycandoforyou;askwhatyoucandoforyourcountry."Iseeacademicsasasimilartwo-wayinteraction:intheclassroom,Iwilldomuchmorethantakeupvaluablespace.BecauseofthebroadrangeofexperiencesIhavehad,myknowledgeofmanysubjectsisthorough.Theseexperienceswillhelpmeperformwellinanyclass,asIhavelearnedhowtousemytimeefficiently.
Thisisariskyquotewithwhichtobeginanessay.Afterall,itisdifficulttoimagineamoretime-wornoroft-repeatedstatement.However,thisintroductiongoesontoapplythisquoteinarelativelyuniquemanner.Thecontrastbetweensuchastandardquotationandsuchaninterestingapplicationwilllikelycatchyourreader'sattention.
"Experienceiswhatyoureceivewhenyoudon'tgetwhatyouwant."Irememberedmyfather'swordsasItriedtopostponethecomingmassacre.JustasduringthefalloftheRomanEmpire,myalliesbecameenemiesandmyfoesturnedintopartners.Infastandfuriousactionwithpropertychanginghandsagainandagain,Irestedmyfateonthewordsofoneman,hopinghewouldrescuemefromthisdangeroustailspin.Dotheseexpertsrealizetheheartbreaktheyareinflictingonmyyounglife?Whiletheuncertaintyoftomorrow'sattireisthemostpressingconcernformanyseventeen-year-olds,Imustworryaboutmuchgreaterissues!ItisAugust31,themarketisdownover300pointsandthevalueofmystockportfolioisfallingfast.
Conclusions
Theconclusionisyourlastchancetopersuadethereaderorimpressuponthemyourqualifications.Endingsarethelastexperienceanadmissionsofficerhaswithyouressay,soyouneedtomakethosewordsandthoughtscount.Youshouldnotfeelobligatedtotieeverythingupintoaneatbow.Theessaycanconcludewithsomeambiguity,ifappropriate,aslongasitoffersinsights.Theaimisfortheadmissionsofficertoleaveyouressaythinking,"Thatwasasatisfyingread."HerearesomeDosandDont'sasyoudevelopyourconclusion.
DOs
Expanduponthebroaderimplicationsofyourdiscussion.Thiscouldincludethefollowingstrategies:
Considerlinkingyourconclusiontoyourintroductiontoestablishasenseofbalancebyreiteratingintroductoryphrases.
Redefineatermusedpreviouslyinyourbodyparagraphs.
Endwithafamousquotethatisrelevanttoyourargument.DonotTRYtodothis,asthisapproachisoverdone.Thisshouldcomenaturally.
Frameyourdiscussionwithinalargercontextorshowthatyourtopichaswidespreadappeal.
Tietheconclusionbacktoyourintroduction.Aniceconclusionmakesuseofthecreativityyouusedinyourintroduction.Ifyouusedananecdoteinyourintro,usetheconclusiontofinishtellingthatstory.
Trytoendonapositivenote.Youmaywanttorestateyourgoalsintermsofhowtheywillbefulfilledattheinstitutiontowhichyouareapplying.
DON'Ts
Summarize.Sincetheessayisrathershorttobeginwith,thereadershouldnotneedtoberemindedofwhatyouwrote300wordsbeforehand.Youdonotneedtowrapupyouressayinanicelittlepackage.Itshouldbeanending,notasummary.
Usestockphrases.Phrasessuchas,"inconclusion""insummary""toconclude"belongonlyindry,scientificwriting.Don'tusethem.
TrytoExplaintheUnexplainable.Youressayneednotbesotidythatyoucananswerwhypeopledieorwhystarvationexists--youarenotwritingasitcom--butitshouldforgesomeattemptatclosure
